You are currently looking at Flamebate, our community forums. Players can discuss the game here, strategize, and role play as their characters.
You need to be logged in to post and to see the uncensored versions of these forums.
lesterdfunct's Flamebate Posts
View lesterdfunct's ProfileSearch Results | ||
---|---|---|
Funniest joke wins 1 BP (Up to 10 BP)coreyjess Posted:
Thanks a lot, glad you liked it. My first ever brownie point, yee-haw! (view post) |
08/20/2008 | |
Funniest joke wins 1 BP (Up to 10 BP)The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, “I’m off. The man should be here soon.”
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. “Good morning madam. You don’t know me, but I’ve come to….”
“Oh, no need to explain. I’ve been expecting you,” Mrs. Smith cut in.
“Really?” the photographer asked. “Well, good! I’ve made a specialty of babies.”
“That’s what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?” asked Mrs. Smith, blushing.
“Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out.”
“Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work for Harry and me.”
“Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results.”
“I hope we can get this over with quickly,” gasped Mrs. Smith.
“Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I’d love to be in and out in five minutes, but you’d be disappointed with that, I’m sure.”
“Don’t I know!!,” Mrs. Smith exclaimed.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. “This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London.”
“Oh my god!!,” Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
“And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.” The photographer handed Mrs. Smith the picture.
“She was difficult ?” asked Mrs. Smith. “Yes, I’m afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look.”
“Four and five deep?” asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
“Yes,” the photographer said. “And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in.”
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. “You mean they actually chewed on your, uh…...equipment?”.
“That’s right. Well, madam, if you’re ready, I’ll set up my tripod so that we can get to work.”
“Tripod??,” Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.
“Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It’s much too big for me to hold while I’m getting ready for action. Madam? Madam?.....
Good Lord, she’s fainted !! (view post) |
08/20/2008 | |
My sikk parens r drivening ME MADMAN!!!!!!!wat u mena suey site???? yeah i tride that twice. teh firts time i woz trieing to hang myzelf in teh garadge but teh robe woz 2 long and i fell to teh flore wit a loud thump waht woz i thinking??? then i tryed slittign my rists but teh dam razr wuz 2 sharp and i accetandelay cut my handz anf dingerz so i cuodlnt handle teh dam razr anymoar adn only messed up teh hole bahtroom wit hmy blodde an eventaulley zlipped uot braking my rihgt arm on teh dam sync maannnn. life suckz! (view post) |
08/12/2008 | |
My sikk parens r drivening ME MADMAN!!!!!!!hi guyssss mann i dont know waht 2 do 1 day im gonner FREAKUOTT REAL BADMANNNNN!!! yetserdae my parantz founded out i havent ben takeing my medz the hole lats weak. ok actualley their not my reel parans but my grant parens but as i grewe up wit hthem i call tehm parantse u wuold do the sam if u were me!!! maann they so phreeked out an madfe me tak teh hole weakly doze in teh evaning wath r they thikkening?? somewon told me i shuold go see an other docotr but im nuts hure maybe teh mez r ok. life suckz! (view post) |
08/10/2008 | |
My latest poem for you guys.iRAWR Posted:
U SIK MUTHER ****RE HOWE DAIR U KRIZITISE THISS ORESUM POTTEREY U R SOWE SIKKWAHT R U THIN KING????????????P (view post) |
08/08/2008 | |
Owe Knose!iRAWR Posted:
WAHT TEH FALK R U SIKK MUTHERFUKCER TOLKIEN ABUOT?????? URE SIKK RAM BLING IZ b4R3LY RRE4D4BLEWATA RE U TIHNKNIG???????) (view post) |
08/08/2008 | |
Teh Millkshak mashene is borken!SIG-ENABLING MOCK-CONGLER Posted:
URE SUCH AN TOTAL ROODE bumH0LE 2 OPST SPOIL3RZ LIK ETHATAR E U CRAZEY??????== I SOWE WNATET 2 SEE TIHS FILMZ AND BNOW U LIEK RUINDE IT COMPLETLAY BYTELLING UZ TEH END O FIT!!!!!!2111 (view post) |
08/08/2008 | |
Owe Knose!Nicco Posted:
TLDRZE? great times un, it woznt that logn. (view post) |
08/07/2008 | |
Teh Millkshak mashene is borken!Eirairaianna Posted:
I sowe feel 4 U Eirairaiarieiana. Tahat iz oen hard-ranching storey. (view post) |
08/07/2008 | |
Owe Knose!Nicco Posted:
“Rreaded”? LOLSE Ur not verygodd @ spekaign Englsih my freind!!!!!!! (view post) |
08/07/2008 | |
Owe Knose!Nicco Posted:
Pproper Englisih????? LOWLZ thiz is teh internet, tolkien laik thiz is teh **** noob1!!!! Whgat a rood percun uare !!!No nedd 2 discrinamate mee just becoz my modds swing!!!!!! Somtimez Im happye an sometimz not so just laik any normal human beign11””!. Its not m,y fault teh medz mayke me all cunfuzed my parantz mayke me tayk them!!! Ure juts laik all theh bullyz in skool mayking phun oph my emosheans!”211111 U dezerv 2 B cut in halfs en than bleetz 2 death mANNN!!!!!!122!!!! (view post) |
08/07/2008 | |
Owe Knose!SIG-ENABLING MOCK-CONGLER Posted:
Owe, “THEM”? U pprobabley shuddent talk about THEHM so loud on teh itnernebts. DHEY ken reed annyhting and will get rewrench on U justt laik THEEY did witht Matrin Lutter Kingg or GFK!!!1. (view post) |
08/07/2008 | |
Owe Knose!Rusty Sherrifs Badge Posted:
Tahts such a rood thmnig 2 sae, evul Sharif!!!!!! U needa brayn 2 post howe can U bumume aneyboday cud poast on a mbumage boredz wihthoutt a brane=??=?? (view post) |
08/07/2008 | |
My latest poem for you guys.Baeutiphul Ppoem. Shortz but vary dderpessing. I laik Ur ztyle. (view post) |
08/07/2008 | |
Owe Knose!BirdofPrey Posted:
Owe, teh ppor anymalz owe KNOWSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1. Fhunnny U shud mansean tehm!!!^1 Nowun evur htings of demz1111. But wiht a nikc laik “Bbird of Pray” U prawbabbley do, ddo U!!!!!ยดยด Tat makez U kind4 cympath3tik an shose Ur raliguos 3. (view post) |
08/06/2008 | |
Owe Knose!BirdofPrey Posted:
Owe, teh ppor Spalczecher. MayB Im rood 2 ihm coz I nevr met him in percun LOLZ!!1112. But no wae I wrought 90 wurdz man! I mena great times on!!! Cant U evun cwn’d 2 90???111LOLSE!!!!1!1 Nut shur waht U meen wit taht funnny % cymbal. Ur tolkien laik a pruphezzer LOZL!.
(view post) |
08/06/2008 | |
Owe Knose!Iz OK. I outfoundedz. (view post) |
08/06/2008 | |
Owe Knose!Thiz harsh Shallow Esowhatever guy stripped me oph owl my kesh 4r this one really depressing mission. Than I lost teh bettle aphter uzing upz all my itemz. Now I got no kesh and no itemz to win teh bettle. Oh Knowse, ixnay on the lolznay LOLZ!!11. I liekz 2 zmile ent lookz at lolcatz owl dae but theez iz making me sadz oh noes. Did I tell U about my parentz yet? Annywaez: Can anywun spare a couple Flezz? I wud B 4ever gratephool and stop whining phor a millisecond. Promized. Life suckz. (view post) |
08/05/2008 |