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SuperMonkeyMan's Flamebate Posts
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The FW Moron's Guide to Alcohol - bump when you are dronk!People drink alcohol for the flavor, for the fun, for the super powers (see Crystal Head Vodka), and for the various levels of alcohol poisoning. All drinkers fall into one of these four categories. People who drink for the flavor are absolute morons. Everyone knows it is all about the fun and poisoning. Therefore there are many types of alcohol to help one become intoxicated. These are categorized by the abv content (alcohol by volume) or proof (which is the abv % multiplied by 2).
The weakest and most worthless form of alcohol is beer; it ranks in at about an average 5% abv (10 proof). The weak alcoholic content is not worth standing the **** flavor. Beer tops out at around 15% abv (30 proof), being weaker than most mixing liqueurs which average around 20% abv (40 proof). Rednecks, college students, and teenagers trying to look cool or act grown up are the common drinkers of this godawful beverage.
Mixing liqueurs are used to mix up various drinks for pussies or people who want to get ****faced without having to taste the ****ing alcohol. Their purpose can be to add flavor (Tia Maria) or merely to increase the amount of alcohol content (Vodka). Some known wonderful mixers include: Kahlua; Bailey’s Irish Creme; Curacao; and Midori. Although they are meant to be mixed, they can be served neat or on the rocks. This is usually done in the form of some kind of shot to prevent the flavor from cloying.
The strongest of all alcohol rank above 50% abv (100 proof) and cap off at 95% abv (190 proof). If anyone ever says they drink 191 proof or better, they are ****ing lying and by law you are required to punch them in the face. The most common 95% abv liquor is everclear and is meant to be taken with a back (A back is any consumable, such as water or a sammich, meant to dilute or slow the intake of alcohol into the body). A common practice by teenage bumhats is to pour everclear into a shot glbum and then light it—creating a flaming shot. Fortunately this results in a flaming bumhat (literally).
Other drinks such as whiskey, vodka, rum, and scotch can have a very high abv depending on their age and distilling process.
This has been a lesson in alcohol. **** YOU ALL. (view post) |
02/10/2010 | |
Upcoming Apprentice Podcast: Call for Questions!Will you read my question on air?? (view post) |
02/07/2010 | |
I got banned from SynIRCCYBER LAUGHing (view post) |
02/06/2010 | |
I got banned from SynIRCWhat did you get banned for and from what channel? (view post) |
02/06/2010 | |
thisss si rettarddtedSir Nose D’Void of Funk strikes again! Will we ever be safe from the placebo syndrome??? (view post) |
02/06/2010 | |
Hey guys, lets get Australia to ban FWHey! I like my rainbow belt Log in to see images! (view post) |
02/06/2010 | |
Tenth caller wins 10BP!CONTEST CLOSED. (view post) |
02/04/2010 | |
One time I was having sex andJoseph of Suburbia Posted:
ZING!
Wait… (view post) |
02/04/2010 | |
One time I was having sex andGhost of Hobarty Bliggity Posted:
—then you woke up and realized it was a dream. Then you cried for three hours because you know you will die alone? (view post) |
02/04/2010 | |
Bow down before your new mod.When I was approached with the opportunity of becoming a FW mod, I was both shocked and appalled. What had I done to deserve such an honor? Apparently the admins had been watching me for some time. They admired my skills in conflict resolution; my abilities in conflict diffusion; and my wondrous skills in conflict generation. I look forward to your comments. Don’t be too mean though or I’ll have to ban you Log in to see images!
Your loving mod, SuperMonkeyMan (view post) |
02/03/2010 | |
Nathan Explosion is pretty ****ing hawt**** iykwimMistress Mary Starscream Posted:
Because a real man wouldn’t put his male reproductive organ anywhere near your two tons of fugliness. (view post) |
02/03/2010 | |
Reverting iRAWR's ban: ReduxProfessor Commie PhD Posted:
If that were true he wouldn’t have idled in IDC for the past few days. (view post) |
02/03/2010 | |
Girllss... post yer mammary glands!!CoreyJess Posted: (view post) |
02/03/2010 | |
Hey guys, lets get Australia to ban FWTo contact the Prime Minister, go here to send an email. (view post) |
02/03/2010 | |
Hey guys, lets get Australia to ban FWAs you all well know, in 2011 Australia will be installing its mbumive firewall. This Aussie failure is banning everything that’s wonderful about the internet. Since FW does contain threads which may contain small breasted woman, Australia should be informed. Also the racism that permeates the forums is another wonderful feature that qualifies this game for being banned.
Contact Australia immediately! Also post small breasted women (18+ years of age) ITT. (view post) |
02/02/2010 | |
Tenth caller wins 10BP!This contest is for a total of 100 BP!!1 Here’s how it works. Call me on Skype: StupidMonkeyMan (texts will not be accepted)
First ten callers receive 10BP!
One winner per account please. This means if JB called in as JB and won, he would not be able to try and win more BP using another alt.
When you call, I will ask you for your FW name. Winners will be posted here. Mods, please check winners to make sure there are no alts. Those found not following the game rules will be disqualified and their winnings forfeited. Winners will receive BP once all ten slots are filled and winners have been verified by a Mod.
There will be more contests similar to this in the future with more even more BP. So if you miss out on this one you will always have a chance to win in the future!
Winners: 1. valka 2. irwar – I’m guessing irawr? 3. matchai 4. samusaran2311 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.
Please give your username somewhere. I can’t give you BP if I can’t figure out who you are. If you don’t wish to post it here, at least give it to a mod and reference this thread.
Contest ends in two days. (view post) |
02/02/2010 | |
[330 BP in Prizes!]Create An Artistic Rendition Of Your Genitalia -- Sponsored By pizza party[NSFW]Here is a life-size drawing of my genitals.
Log in to see images! (view post) |
02/01/2010 | |
dear modsThis thread made me CYBER LAUGH. (view post) |
02/01/2010 | |
Get rid of this filter plzCYBER LAUGH, I like the filter. (view post) |
02/01/2010 | |
Contest for 375 BP :: WISHFUL THINKING :: Make a wish and winFirst Wish: I wish I knew and could do all Kung Fu styles like they do in the movies. In other words, a Kung Fu Mega Master!!
Second Wish: To be omnipotent.
Third Wish: The ability to turn people into Haddo-Gay at will. “Hey that guy ****ing cut you off man.” “Don’t worry.” ::zap:: “Holy **** that same dude is now waving his male reproductive organ out the window. Jesus man. Just Jesus.” (view post) |
02/01/2010 |