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Nephtes's Flamebate Posts
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All new last post wins 3BP threadLog in to see images! (view post) |
10/18/2008 | |
CLOSED: 7BP After i get Miss PopularityI really love these contests..I never win though^_^ and im quite sure ill never do..oki..im helping you get the precious peenLog in to see images! (view post) |
10/08/2008 | |
CLOSED: My contest was deleted thanks to hobo spam, here is another: 5 people get 1 bpi just love these post and win a BP contests..i never win ^_^ (view post) |
09/18/2008 | |
Funniest joke wins 1 BP (Up to 10 BP)
I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my sister to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else…
I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task.
I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glbum, which I drank.
I then withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one glbum, which I drank.
I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank.
I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glbum, which I drank.
I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glbum. I pulled the sink out of the next glbum and poured the cork down the bottle. Then I corked the sink with the glbum, bottled the drink and drank the pour.
When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the glbumes, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which were twenty-nine, and as the houses came by I counted them again, and finally I had all the houses in one bottle, which I drank.
I’m not under tha affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep I am. I’m not half as thunk as you might drink. I fool so feelish I don’t know who is me, and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get. (view post) |
08/22/2008 | |
Funniest joke wins 1 BP (Up to 10 BP)
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car-both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the pbumenger seat thought to herself “I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light.”
After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the light was red again and again they went right though. This time the woman in the pbumenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through and she turned to the other woman and said, “Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row! You could have killed us!”
Mildred turned to her and said, “Oh, am I driving?” (view post) |
08/22/2008 | |
Funniest joke wins 1 BP (Up to 10 BP)III The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway jumping for joy! I didn’t know why she was jumping so excitedly but I thought, “what the heck”, and I starting jumping up and down along with her. She said, “I have some really great news…. I said, “Great. Tell me why you’re so happy.” She stopped jumping and breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, told me that she was pregnant. I knew she’d been trying for a while so I told her, “That’s great I couldn’t be happier for you!” Then she said, “There’s more” I asked, What do you mean there’s more. She said, “Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to have TWINS!” Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew. She said…. “Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and they actually had a home pregnancy kit in a TWIN-pack. Both tests came out positive!” (view post) |
08/22/2008 | |
Funniest joke wins 1 BP (Up to 10 BP)I’ll try again
I After a trial had been going on for three days, Finley, the man accused of committing the crimes, stood up and approached the judge’s bench. “Your Honor, I would like to change my plea from ‘innocent’ to ‘guilty’ of the charges.” The judge angrily banged his fist on the desk. “If you’re guilty, why didn’t you say so in the first place and save this court a lot of time and inconvenience? ” he demanded. Finley looked up wide-eyed and stated, “Well, when the trial started I thought I was innocent, but that was before I heard all the evidence against me.” II A state trooper pulls over a blonde on a lonely back road and says, “Ma’am, is there a reason why you’re weaving all over the road?” The woman replied, “Oh officer, thank goodness you’re here! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. So, I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. Then, I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!” The officer reached through the side window to the rear view mirror, and explained, “Ma’am… that’s your air freshener.” (view post) |
08/22/2008 | |
All new last post wins 3BP threadis it on? (view post) |
08/22/2008 | |
Funniest joke wins 1 BP (Up to 10 BP)hope i’m the first to post this joke..here i goLog in to see images!
An engineer died and reported to the pearly gates. An intern angel, filling in for St. Peter, checked his dossier and grimly said, “Ah, you’re an engineer; you’re in the wrong place.”
So the engineer was cast down to the gates of hell and was let in. Pretty soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and began designing and building improvements. After a while, the underworld had air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators, and the engineer was becoming a pretty popular guy among the demons.
One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a sneer, “So, how’s it going down there in hell?”
Satan laughed and replied, “Hey, things are going great. We’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.”
God’s face clouded over and he exploded, “What? You’ve got an engineer? That’s a mistake; he should never have gotten down there; send him up here.”
Satan shook his head, “No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him.”
God was as mad as he had ever been, “This is not the way things are supposed to work and you know it. Send him back up here or I’ll sue.”
Satan laughed uproariously, “Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?” (view post) |
08/22/2008 |