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Lucinda Sherwood's Flamebate Posts
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How to deal with an addictionBirdofPrey Posted:
Dear Mr. o’Prey,
Do they let Chinese people into public meetings now?
With all Christian love,
Mrs. Lucinda Sherwood (view post) |
05/08/2008 | |
How to deal with an addictionDear Mr. WooWoo,
Yes, addiction can be a terrible thing, but I’m afraid I must agree with Mr. Gigerth. (He’s so nice and well-spoken for a black man, don’t you think?) Self-denial and discipline are habits, just like sloth and gluttony. You have let your sloth and gluttony habits get out of control, and now it is time to work those discipline muscles, young man! You must bring yourself firmly in hand. You have grown flabby and lazy, and now you must become hard and upright.
Pray to Jesus to give you strength when you sag, confidence when you falter, and comfort when you feel raw. I know that I will be praying for you, and I’m sure you have the support of many other young men here on this little forum.
With all Christian love,
Mrs. Lucinda Sherwood (view post) |
05/08/2008 | |
itt we tell the truthI once fell asleep in church. (view post) |
05/08/2008 | |
Sunshine SnapMuddyBallzFlap Posted:
No, Miss Your-Name-Isn’t-All-That-Funny, I can’t teach you how to feel love. Obviously you were raised in a very poor home — and by “poor,” I am not referring to your parents’ material cirgreat timesstances, but rather to their spiritual wealth. Have you ever seen the inside of a church, young lady?
On second thought, please don’t answer that. Your response would probably only be rude and blasphemous.
I will pray for you, though I suspect my efforts will be wasted on a trollop such as you.
With all Christian love,
Mrs. Lucinda Sherwood (view post) |
05/08/2008 | |
PrayPalCrinkz Posted:
Dear Mr. Crinkz,
You bring up a point that I’ve been wondering about for some little time now: just what is a Re Re, as you children say? Is that some sort of Hop-Hop terminology? I don’t know any black people other than my maid, and she’s almost as old as I am! But you know, I think black people are so much sturdier than us white folks. They’re just made to work harder, bless their hearts. That’s probably why so many of them ended up as slaves.
The Lord works in mysterious ways his purposes to fulfill.
With all Christian love,
Mrs. Lucinda Sherwood (view post) |
05/07/2008 | |
PrayPaldeMonSPaWN Posted:
Dear Mrs. Pawn,
Thank you so much for offering to help. My credit card number is 1221 3914 4119 8518, and the security code on the back is 000. I promise, you’ll be the first person I pray for! Log in to see images!
With all Christian love,
Mrs. Lucinda Sherwood (view post) |
05/07/2008 | |
PrayPalDear Mr. Trout,
How do you sign up for PrayPal? I keep clicking on the bumons, but I never get to the page where I fill in my name, address and credit card number. Can I just give that to you and have you sign me up?
With all Christian love,
Mrs. Lucinda Sherwood (view post) |
05/07/2008 | |
SOMETHING IS GOING ON AND I'M NOT INCLUDEDMy goodness, Mr. Tom, that is certainly a big fish you’re wrestling there in your cartoon. I didn’t know you were a fisherman. Jesus was a fisher of men, so I think you must be a Christian. Log in to see images!
With all Christian love,
Mrs. Lucinda Sherwood (view post) |
05/04/2008 | |
My enjoy; let me tell you about it.mary misanthrope Posted:
Dear Miss Misanthrope (though I don’t believe for a second that’s your real name):
I disagree with your mother that inviting this young man home with you constituted “asking for it.” However you invited him to your home, alone, not to have dinner or a nice discussion about Jesus. Instead you “made out” with him, and even took your top off. Well, what did you expect to happen? Unless this young man happened to be a gynecologist who made house calls, what else could he presume from the sight of your naked dirty pillows but that you were inviting him to have intercourse?
You should consider yourself lucky that you didn’t find yourself in the family way six weeks later.
Quite frankly, I am revolted by not only your behavior, but by your flaunting of it in this public manner. You have much to learn about self-respect, and clearly your parents must share in some of the blame.
Men are disgusting animals who use women for their coarse enjoyment. It is a burden that we must bear because of Eve’s fall, a fall that brought down ruin upon our unhappy sex.
I sincerely urge you to consider taking the cloth. A life devoted to Jesus will give you the peace you seek and so desperately need.
With all Christian love,
Mrs. Lucinda Sherwood (view post) |
05/04/2008 | |
Sunshine SnapDear Mr. Blowjob,
My goodness, what an alarming photograph. How do you make it flash like that?
While I appreciate your attempt to contribute to the discussion, I feel it ingreat timesbent upon me — as the instigator of this “thread,” as you young people like to call it — to remind you that the topic we were discussing was Jesus and Christianity. Perhaps you are a mental defective of some sort, like my little granddaughter, and can’t understand or follow our discussion. If that is the case, I would suggest that you ask your priest to spend more time with you in private contemplation. Remember, young man, that your priest is your very special friend.
With all Christian love,
Mrs. Lucinda Sherwood (view post) |
05/03/2008 | |
TEAM SHORTBUS OUT TO GET ME (DOLPHIN DISCRIMINATION)daisy_fungus Posted:
I’m so very sorry, ladies and gentlemen. I got up to fix a glbum of hot milk to help me sleep and found my granddaughter Jade on the computer again. Well, at least she wasn’t on the ICWDB website.
I’ve locked Jade in her room now, and Father Flanagan is coming tomorrow to have a long, private talk with her about discipline.
With all Christian love and remorse,
Mrs. Lucinda Sherwood (view post) |
05/03/2008 | |
I HAS QUESTION FOR JOOFwd Re Re Posted:
Dear Miss Re_Re,
You don’t need any drugs as long as you have the Lord on your side. Go to confession first thing in the morning, do your penance, and then pray to the Blessed Virgin to intercede with God on your behalf. If you have a medal of St. Michael or St. Joan, wear it while you are doing that thing the children call “pwning.”
I really don’t understand why they continually misspell pawning. Is it supposed to be cute?
With all Christian love,
Mrs. Lucinda Sherwood (view post) |
05/03/2008 | |
Sunshine Snapenire Posted:
Dear Mr. Enire,
Is it black tea? Because if it is, I’ll have to take out my dentures first. Black teas stain them so badly.
With all Christian love,
Mrs. Lucinda Sherwood (view post) |
05/02/2008 | |
SOMETHING IS GOING ON AND I'M NOT INCLUDEDMySpace Tom Posted:
Dear Mr. Tom,
Sometimes we can’t be invited to all the parties and all the clubs and organizations we would wish. My neighbor two doors down, Mrs. Moskowitz, would probably like to be invited to join our country club, but I’m afraid that’s never going to happen.
This is really not such a very bad thing. As my grandmother used to say, “a place for everything and everything in its place.”
I’m certain that if you try, you will find a society of nice young men and women of your own station with which to mingle.
With all Christian love,
Mrs. Lucinda Sherwood (view post) |
05/02/2008 | |
post ur favorite christmas ^o^Ack Thbbbt Posted:
No, young man, I am not your grandmother. I am very sorry that you are in an institution like my little granddaughter Bethany, but from your picture I deduce that you are a boy, not a girl. I do not have any grandsons, institutionalized or otherwise.
With all Christian love,
Mrs. Lucinda Sherwood (view post) |
05/01/2008 | |
Mr. Bruce BearDear Moderators and Mr. Trout,
Why does the repairman keep asking me if I want a blow job? I don’t need my hair done in a certain fashion to play the game, do I?
With all Christian love,
Mrs. Lucinda Sherwood (view post) |
05/01/2008 | |
DeviousArt sucks.TheColderShoulder Posted:
Dear Mr. Shoulder,
I was saddened to hear that your so-called “art” was removed from the gallery, but this revelation has filled me with revulsion. I know such people as you exist. I am 70 years old, and I have seen many obscene things over the course of my life. But I thought that this was a decent website where good people from all over the world could congregate. Now I find that it is a virtual Sodom.
Please refrain from spreading your pornography around where innocent children can see it and be influenced by it.
I do want to thank you, though, for confirming what so many homosexuals deny — that what you do is a choice. I bumure you, young man, that it is the wrong choice. It is not too late for you. Marry a good Christian girl (not Catholic, please), raise a family, work hard, and go to church every Sunday. If you truly repent and mend your ways, you may not burn in hell.
With all Christian love,
Mrs. Lucinda Sherwood (view post) |
05/01/2008 | |
Sunshine Snapenire Posted:
Dear Mr. Enire,
I do love a nice cup of tea. How kind of you to offer. But I’m afraid I prefer loose tea. Would it be all right if I broke your teabags and dumped their contents in boiling water?
With all Christian love,
Mrs. Lucinda Sherwood (view post) |
05/01/2008 | |
lets talk about bad musicDear Mr. Blowjob,
I do like clbumical music quite a little bit, but the rest of the bands you mentioned I’ve either never heard of or don’t care for. I used to love the sound of Gregorian chants, but then those nasty New Age types took it over and it’s all gone to H E double hockey sticks now, as far as I’m concerned.
With all Christian love,
Mrs. Lucinda Sherwood (view post) |
04/30/2008 | |
LET'S DU SHAKESPEARE PLAI!Prince des Sots Posted: |
04/30/2008 |
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