Fortunato Posted:
At the far end of flamebait
where the ancient spam sits
and even the quality posts
are loaded with ****
and no cool things are posted
excepting nice mammary glands
Is the street of the edited LeetLol
And deep in the spam,
some posters say
if you look far enough
you can still see, today
where LeetLol once stood
Just as long as it could
Before someone edited LeetLol Away
What was the leetlol?
and why was it there?
and why was it edited and pasted somewhere?
From the far end of flaimbait
where the ancient spam sits
Old Evil Trout still posts there
Ask him about it.
You won't see Evil Trout.
Don't emptyquote his post.
He stays on his server,
the "Crotch Zombie" host
He stays on his server
on his private klan
where he makes his own forum
out of mathematical plans
And on special slow code days
in august
he clicks out of his forum
and sometimes, he posts
and he tells how the LeetLol
was edited away
He'll tell you, perhaps
if you're willing to pay
AT the end of his thread
he posts you a link
and you have to donate
five BP and a drink
and an illustration of
furry porn of a great great
grandmother skink
Then he follows the link
to his paypal account
to see if you've paid him
the proper amount
FWASH
Up fwashes the IDC interface
to your eyes
and old Evil Trout's musings
are slowly reprised
they can't come quickly
for IDC's fried
and creeps and crawls as
the old server sighs
since he clogs it up with
porn of guys on guys.
Now I'll tell you, he writes
with his post color gray,
how the LeetLol got edited
and removed away
It all started way back,
such a long, long time back
Way back in the days when the internet was hot
the links were all good
and full of content
and the flames of TSB kept fabulous persons enraged
One morning I came to this homo-free page
and I first saw the posts!
The flamebait posts
the humor filled fun of the
flamebait posts!
Page after page on the
server and host.
And next to the posts I saw
klan SRSLY
romping about with their
dedicated RP
as they played in the forum
and gave us all glee
from the secret clan forum
came the horrible flock
of **** YOU posters posting
the most hideous shock
but the posts! Those posts!
Those flamebait posts!
All my life I'd been searching for posts
with humor foremost
Their clever language
was more fiendish than satan
and they had content
that flowed unabated
I felt a great leaping
of joy in my heart!
I knew just what I'd do
A forum I'd start
In no time at all,
I had built a small game
then I spammed out an ad
for my game that was lame
and with great skillful skill
and with great thoughtful thought,
The poster who posted, I
banned him for toxx
The instant I did it, I saw
a KA POW
I looked and I saw something come from the profile
of the poster I'd banned
it was sort of a man
describe him? that's hard. I don't know if I can.
He was shortish and goofy
and spammy and loopy
and he typed with a style
that was direct yet droopy
EVIL TROUT he typed while my brain popped like a toaster
I AM LEET LOL and I speak for the posters
I speak for the posters for they have no content
and I'm asking you sir, with font at 200%
he was very upset as he plotted and planned,
who was that poster you recently banned?
Look, Leet lol, I said, there's no cause to complain
when rules get put in place that's a common refrain.
They're really quite helpful. This rule is called BOLDCAPS
BOLDCAP'S a thing that everyone hates!
It's annoying! It's deliberate! It's malicious! It trolls!
But it has other uses, yes far beyond those!
You can spam up the forums, tubmail, your stall
take its virginity, or post to them all!
This rule will benefit everyone, posters great and small!
Leetlol said Sir! You are crazy with gay
there is no homo on earth
who also thinks that way.
But the very next minute I proved he was jive
for just at that minute came NOOB65
and he thought the rule that I made was fantastic
I made him a mod and his enforcement was drastic
I repeat! Cried leetlol,
I speak for the posters!
I'm busy, I told him
my Xbox is calling, go write about toasters
I surfed forth on the web and I wrote all my friends
searched my old e-mails and combed all the dead ends
I wrote jalapeno bootyhole
and the other other hole
and timmeh and abdulla
and said come quickly bros
we'll make a great forum
with dozens of rules
if need be we'll change them
we're nobody's fools
I'll make you accounts
and we'll begin to accrue
and in no time at all
in the game that I made
my posters were spending
the browniepoints (pre-paid)
we were all making rules
that affect non-RP hosters
then spamming up RP
and banning the posters
Then OH! BABY! OH!
just like to baby****
my erection did grow
Now banning one poster
at a time was too slow!
So I quickly invited my second mod Tubs
Who banned four posters
like he beat them with clubs
We were making rules twice as fast as before
and the leetlol? he didn't show up any more.
But the next week he posted in my new wiki spoiler
He snapped I'm the LeetLol who speaks for the posters
which you seem to be banning, which is not to boast
But I'm also in charge of klan SRSLY
who played on the forums in dedicated RP
and happily posted, with carefree glee
NOW thanks to your banning my friends all around
No clever response to RP can be found
And my poor friends klan SRSLY are all getting antsy
without any trolling from their permabanned PANTSy
They loved posting here, but I can't let them stay
They need good posting and I hope that they may.
Good luck boys and girls, and I send them away.
Here I, Evil Trout, felt sad, as I watched them all go
but a forum's a forum, and a forum must grow
Regardless of good posting in forums, you know.
I meant no harm, I most truly did not
But I had to grow bigger. So bigger I got.
I biggered my forum. I biggered my game.
I biggered my moderators. I biggered the flames
of the posts that I banned. I was banning them all
From Brainfreeze! Full of Sbum! GGM! And Wechall!
I went right on biggering...selling more BPs.
And I biggered my money, which everyone needs.
Then again he came back! I was stroking my male reproductive organ
When that old nuisance Leetlol came back with a stick
I AM THE LEETLOL he swung it with anger
This banstick you've got is a really huge danger
Evil Trout! He typed through a haze of **** posts
Evil Trout! Your laws are the most
inconvenient, despicable, arbitrary and cruel
My poor TSB, they ran from your rules
None can post good posts during a ban from the host
And SO, said the leet lool, please pardon their dust
they'll no longer post here; their flaming would rust.
Where will they go? I don't hopefully know.
They may have to troll for a month, or a year,
to escape from the rules you've spammed up around here.
What's more, snapped the LeetLol (his dander was up)
let me say a few words about this anonymous stuff
The **** posts are keeping **** YOU from the air
who can post shock with anon crap everywhere?
So I'm sending them off, their future is dreary
their hard drives will empty, they'll get very weary
in search of a forum with shock free (in theory)
And then I got mad
I got terribly mad
I yelled at the LeetLol
Now listen here, Dad!
All you do is yap-yap and say,
Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!
Well I have this site, sir,
and I'm telling you
I intend to go on doing just what I do!
And for your information Leetlol, I'm figgering
on biggering
and Biggering
and BIGGERING
and BIGGERING!!
turning MORE and more rules into creeds
which all forums everywhere, EVERYWHERE need!
And at that very moment,
a sound like a can of rocks
the last truly great poster just got banned for toxx
His name had been FAIL
he'd had no remorse
our beaten down mods had had no recourse
All posters were lame, no more game
no more work to be done.
All other posters complained that the place was no fun
They jumped ship to ****holes superiour to ours
and posted about rainbows, light and stars
Now all that was left on my now empty forum
was my quote pasted reply
the leet lol,
and I
The leetlol said nothing,
just gave me a post
a very sad, backhanded
reply of a post
as he edited himself
so his post was a ghost
and I'll never forget the grim look on his stall
covered with spam and crap beyond recall
after editing himself for a last time and all.
Then all the leetlol left here in this mess
was an edited post with one word...
UNLESS
Whatever that meant, well, I just couldn't guess
That was long, long ago.
But each day since that day
I've sat here and worried
and worried away.
Through the years, while my forums
have fallen apart,
I've worried about it
with all of my heart.
But now, says Evil Trout,
Now that you're here,
the word of the LeetLol seems perfectly clear.
UNLESS someone like you
cares a whole awful lot,
nothing is going to get better.
It's not.
SO...
Catch! calls Evil Trout.
He lets something fall.
It's a very good thread.
It's the last one of all!
You're in charge of the last of the good threads.
And good threads are what everyone needs.
Start a great thread, Treat it with care.
Give it good grammar. Keep replies all fair.
Form a forum. Protect it from Spammers that spam
Then the Leetlol
and all of his friends
may come back.
Indiana Jonas's Flamebate Posts
