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Herrick's Flamebate Posts
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"My Immortal", The worst fan fiction ever.How about a Mary sue filled with delicious angst? (view post) |
09/02/2008 | |
"My Immortal", The worst fan fiction ever.King Krimson Posted:
****Log in to see images!
I had hoped everyone had forgotten that so I wouldn’t have to suffer though it. Suppose a deal is a deal. (view post) |
09/01/2008 | |
"My Immortal", The worst fan fiction ever.Oh god this is awesome.
MOAR!
You won’t get any rest till you finish all of it. (view post) |
09/01/2008 | |
"My Immortal", The worst fan fiction ever.For the love of god MOAR! (view post) |
08/21/2008 | |
"My Immortal", The worst fan fiction ever.Oh dear I think she mistook dyslexia for severe mental retardation.
Also I’m still working on my fanfic ripping unfortunately the first chapter is about 14 pages long that’s without my comments. (view post) |
07/22/2008 | |
"My Immortal", The worst fan fiction ever.Okay I’ve given up looking for stuff on fanfiction.net and have instead departed for that dark, sewage encrusted forest of depravity known to all as Adultfanfiction.net
So yeah check back soon as I violate a story about…being violated, yeah I’m not looking forward to it either.
Edit: Okay AFF is on the backburner while I work on subduing my gag reflex instead I will be working on possibly the mother of all Sue stories.
This thing has possibly the most crossovers I have ever seen in a story including: Harry potter, LotR, Xmen, Power rangers (oh lordy), Fantastic 4 and many others.
I’m not making this **** up, I wish I was but there you go. At least unlike Ebony this author can at least spell the more basic words in the English language.
Also don’t think this is a short dip into insanity, oh no, this thing goes on for 50 chapters. So meet me here in a short while to read the first chapter with my comments strewn across the place like so much confetti. (view post) |
07/17/2008 | |
Gender Threadmetrosexual (view post) |
07/12/2008 | |
"My Immortal", The worst fan fiction ever.As a general rule if the author can string together a full sentence without murdering the English language they’re safe from me. Unless the story is really, really bad.
That grunt and elite thing was actually sorta funny in a parody sort of way. Plus like you said at least it didn’t get too descriptive (if only because nobody would know how the **** to picture it).
I’m probably more inclined to go with one of the 2 remaining HM stories I found earlier of preferably something far longer. Possibly tread into weaboo territory looking for victims if I can man up enough to stray into there. (view post) |
07/12/2008 | |
"My Immortal", The worst fan fiction ever.Okay so I was on fanfiction.net looking for stories to rip into (filter set to show romance stories obviously) and I found this absolute masterpiece set in the Halo universe.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4368062/1/Head_Over_Heels
Grunt/elite yaoi(gay) fluff, don’t say I didn’t warn you. (view post) |
07/11/2008 | |
"My Immortal", The worst fan fiction ever.Hmm, well I still have those 2 HM suggestions I could rip apart.
Alternatively if anyone wants to suggest a random ****ty Japanimae I’ll do my best to find the worst case of writing on it and proceed to textually mutilate it (view post) |
07/02/2008 | |
"My Immortal", The worst fan fiction ever.Salvador Posted:
This tbh.
Breaking the 4th wall can be awesome if done right. (view post) |
06/20/2008 | |
"My Immortal", The worst fan fiction ever.twiztid-cow Posted:
The author is a retard, there needs no explanation. (view post) |
06/16/2008 | |
"My Immortal", The worst fan fiction ever.King Krimson Posted:
Well I have msn chatlogs the current thread you’ve been mentioned in just has some guy complaining the main forumwarz game is too hard (view post) |
06/15/2008 | |
"My Immortal", The worst fan fiction ever.I like to BM the extra ****e ones for future refernce.
Or if I need to raaaaage at something.
Edit: Sweet Jesus chapter 39 of that Harry potter fanfic (yes it’s that long) has to be the most epic thing ever. I’m not sure if the hacker troll is real or just part of the author’s brilliance but it had me in hysteria. (view post) |
06/14/2008 | |
"My Immortal", The worst fan fiction ever.Double post power!
Found some fanfics in the harvest moon section, known to be a hotbed for crap sometimes. I’ve avoided all the gay romance stories to save your lunch (and mine). Posted a few up so you can choose what you want to dispense bile onto.
Harvest moon high Written like a script with textual smilies, need I say more?
HM chatroom. It’s ****ing MSN what more do you need? The **** goes on for ****ing hours.
HM with final fantasy and anime stuff. Fail, just fail.
Ho’ farmer. Yeah that kind of ho’ too. Not actually that bad it made me laugh. (view post) |
06/13/2008 | |
"My Immortal", The worst fan fiction ever.King Krimson Posted:
Well everyone on the forums I frequent and MSN contacts list for a start.
Well my attempt…
You there. Yes you, with the robe pulled up to your face.
I think you have a mistake, I don’t do stupid wizard threads.
Come here. I heard you’ve been asking about me. The mysterious man with no name. Everyone in this bar has a story to tell. Why are you so interested in mine?
I honestly have no idea, it’s already clear you are unable to use paragraphs and I’m sure half of the yahoos in your mind could come up with more interesting ****e.
I see. ‘I seem familiar’. You sure you want to hear my story? It’s not pretty. You won’t like the ending.
I don’t even like the beginning…
Okay then. For as long as I can remember, I had two friends in my village. One boy and one girl. We would play outside when it wasn’t so dark, when the danger was lowest. We would make believe that we were Vampire Hunters, slaying the great menace that stalks our lands.
Did you act as bad as the rejects in Buffy the Vampire slayer?
We would alternate between hunter and hunted, good and evil. I see a glint of recognition in your eyes. Maybe you used to do the same? Anyway, the deep friendship I felt about my lady companion eventually grew to something more. I never spoke of it though. In the end, it was too late.
Typical, not ten minutes in and you’re gabbing off about never getting a girl. Baaaaw, cry more emo kid.
My other companion evidently felt the same way about her as I did, and so he proposed. She agreed, and inside my heart was broken.
Is that it? No courtship or anything. Christ if you’re gonna have a romance driven plot at least elaborate a little.
I still loved her, even though she was now never to be mine. Do not think I ever tried acting on my feelings, as some are wont to do. I am, after all, a gentleman. Some years pbumed, and eventually, the vampire threat selected our village.
So from you losing your love of your life to vampires attacking your village in what, 3 lines? You really don’t like depth do you?
Our children were stolen in the night, and our women were defiled. Many brave men tried to fight back, and after a while they pin-pointed the source of the attacks. Of course, they all perished in the counter-attacks, rest their souls.
You do know that Vampires feed on virgins and turn them into vampires as well not just “steal kids and enjoy women”.
All that was left of them in the morning was their severed heads pinned to their homes. Each one of them had the most terrifying expression, locked in place for the rest of eternity. BY this time my friends and I had become vampire slayers.
BY this time? Gosh what’s with the caps?
We were away purifying a nest of the foul creatures when our kinsmen fought back, so don’t think for one second that we sat back while our friends and family were slaughtered.
I was more interested in when you were gonna shut up rather then if you could actually fight anything.
When we heard of the atrocity, we immediately set out to combat the demonic foe. While the villagers had pitchforks and torches, we had holy water and sharpened stakes. Due to our experience, I thought they would fall easily.
If they were gonna fall so easily then why did they all get killed and decapitated earlier?
I had no idea at the time that this was to be the worst night of my life. It started routinely enough. We came across a few of the abhorrent creatures sleeping just inside the wood. We slew them where they slept. As we went deeper, however, I started to become uneasy. Why weren’t we meeting more resistance?
Because they were asleep you gigantic retard?
I know now, of course, but at the time I had absolute trust in my ‘friend’. They attacked all at once. Two of us tried to fight them off, but he just stood there. Watched as she was pinned down. Watched as his wife was ravaged. Watched as the woman I loved was torn apart. I lived that day. But at the same time, I died.
Oh how melodramatic, you do know that if he was just standing there that means only 1 of you were fighting them off? Jesus counting to 2 isn’t hard.
I couldn’t find his body, but I did bury all that I could find of my love. I know what happened now. Later on, there were talks of a ‘Vampire King’. One that is human, but consorts with the night. He sold his soul for power. I sold mine for revenge.
Selling souls, best friends betraying you, love of your life killed. Is there any over used plot twist you’ve yet to soil?
That’s why I came here. I heard that the King had set his sights on this village. I would find him, and exact my vengeance. And now, finally, I find you. You bastard.
Considering I’m apparently your friend (god help me) wouldn’t I have remembered doing all this?
It may have been one- hundred years since I last saw you, but don’t think I could forget the person who tore my world apart. Don’t move. Not that you could, anyway. I’ve learned a few new tricks since that night. I am going to make you suffer, as she suffered.
You even think about molesting me and you’ll be walking funny for the rest of your life.
Each day you will beg for a death that cannot be granted. And I’m not going anywhere either. I’m marked too. The mark of Cain. Eternal life, and for you, my friend; eternal pain.
So wait…was there any story at all here? This is possibly the skimpiest **** I’ve ever read. You barely spend any time on any one point and then just end saying I’ll suffer? Well mission ****ing accomplished, I don’t think I’ll ever erase this from my brain.
Copyright 2008 King Krimson. Please don’t try to pbum this work off as your own, as that would be illegal. Have fun!
Not quite sure why anyone would want to be bumociated with you but don’t worry your little head about it.
Pretty ****ing hard since there isn’t actually that much inherently wrong with it. No obvious spelling or grammatical errors I can see aside from a lack of paragraphs. It’s actually not that badLog in to see images! (view post) |
06/13/2008 | |
"My Immortal", The worst fan fiction ever.King Krimson Posted:
For all the hilarity your ripping on this fanfic has given us I’ll have a go at blowing a load of hate over your one. I’ll also try to find a suitably pathetic FF to be savaged (so that will be some random anime I’ve never heard or care about and set the genre filter to “angst” ). (view post) |
06/13/2008 | |
Hello guys!Les talk, moar mammary glands. (view post) |
06/13/2008 | |
"My Immortal", The worst fan fiction ever.Possibly the greatest read ever. (view post) |
06/12/2008 | |
Interesting ThreadSomething_Witty Posted:
That team shortbus are a bunch of fabulous persons who love to tongue their father’s man clits?
Sorry but we already knew that and as such we can’t learn this from my thread. (view post) |
06/11/2008 |